Tired of Caring

When does it end? I suppose the proper answer is never. There seems to be no end to the troubles and trials of some people. I don't necessarily think I'm one of them. I mean, yeah, stuff has happened to me, but not that much stuff. It's like they can't get away from it. No matter where they go or what they do. Honestly, sometimes, it makes me angry.

I feel scatter-brained. I can't seem to collect my thoughts at the moment. I'm angry because of the junk that keeps happening to my friends, and angry and sad that some of them keep taking it out on their friends, and I'm tired. Sometimes, I'm even tired of caring. I'm tired of feeling like I want to do something to help and being able to do nothing. I'm tired of the conflict. I'm tired of it. I just want to sit and do nothing, or rather, just whatever I want. I want to read books and play video games and shop for wedding dresses and cook my own food so that it tastes like REAL food. I want to be done with school. I want to be married. I want... to stop thinking about what I want. I want to stop being so selfish, but I don't really know how at the moment.

I can't just stop wanting and thinking about what I want. What am I supposed to do about it? Am I just supposed to say forget it? I don't really know what to do. I care. And I don't want to.

So I guess right now I'll just take a shower and get to bed.

Love